P4+ARobles

The Parrot House

Our house isn’t big or grand but it’s the best house I’ve ever lived in because before our parrot house I lived in alone in a tiny one bed room apartment .It’s called the dead apartment because its color was only back and white before that the ghost garage were some one must of died there because his sprit kept on turning the light switches off and on of course with other haunting's. Before that there was the beach apartment in T.J it was small but the salty air, and hot sun would cheer the gloomiest of souls before that it was the ghetto house were I lived 6 to 9 years there was never a day were the police weren’t called or some one was not stabbed or shot .Then there was the baby house were I was a baby it was right across the dead apartment but the baby house was messy unclean but I was happy and loved. I never knew why I moved so much in the begin then I realized the reason : My mother not mom or ma she never deserved to be called such words but she gave me life and a part of me will always love her no matter the harm she did to me. Life it’s the only thing I’m thankful for, but now it’s in present situation. I must tell you of the parrot house. Outside it looks not better than any other house but inside is were the energy comes from. Our house has many different moods when you walk in the door you feel worried and relaxed at the same time because the bright colors of the walls that are yellow and blue then you stop almost to the short haired brown carpet then your eyes instantly see the dark red couch, the Picasso couch, and canary Yellow couch. Then you see our memory wall full of my families’ pictures. Then our art and cross walls because not one room in our house has no art or crosses.

Were Nosey People

Every one in my family has a different nose. I was gifted with a strait nose that looked sturdy and strong like if god craved it out of wood. It’s nice but it’s not as pretty as my brother’s god blessed him with the perfect nose like a male super models nose and it goes perfectly with his baby face that is so chubby. Girls always admire his nose and face even the Chinese lady at the liqueur store does and always tells him that he is so handsome.My sister has a baby nose that has peach fuzz all over it looks exactly like newborns it’s so cute and pretty it matches her innocent eyes so full of life hopes and dreams. my fathers nose looks like god smacked his face in it its he has the most girly nose I've ever seen it has many specks and spots but very spot is a new sin because I notice every time he does something wrong I always see a spec on his girly pop star nose. My mother’s nose is cold and hard if it wasn’t for her smile. It’s so thin and fine it looks like one soft jab could break it but at the same time it looks like it could cut hard wood.

Garden of Good and Evil

This is my servant Martha and here is my back yard, pool, dinning room, Oh the newest DVD player. We have all the new Movies. I was amazed the way they lived was Immaculate and elegant. Even brand new cars to match. Every thing they had was just a finger tip away. They were rich girls they had pretty Clothes, Clean rooms, and were prim and proper. I felt as if I was a fish out of water. Jealous and angry because it only took two blocks to be introduced to the poor with no food, dirty clothes and no home some lived in shacks were the smells of urine came about. I was there to do home work and lied I said I was done but I wasn't and watched a DVD on there DVD player and enjoyed there company. They were innocent and didn’t lie. I did and they disowned me the next day for lying to them. But I'm glad because at least I wasn’t blind. I noticed there defect. Because they could walk pass the poor and not even flinch. While I could do nothing but stare. I felt there pain of being cold, and hungry there eyes could tell you a life time things and places. There babies looked old and used. Yet they could still ask for 10 pesos for a bracelet, or chicle. They sold and sold and made and made what they could with old babies in there arms and booger faced children on there backs. On those dusty roads and days. With hot sun and tourist who thought there were unfortunate. That wasn't true. They were victims of circumstance. They were victims of fate. It wasn't one of gods joke's it was one of gods melancholies.

Protector of Men

My name is Alexa its short boring and to the point I was supposed to be named Alexandra but my mother though it would be to long but I prefer that name because its sounds noble .Alexa wasn’t me it was the complete opposite of me Alexa was a cheerleader a girl with the perfect life friends family and had no inner strength and dictated her life around her peers .Alexandra was me and it means Protector of Men .It felt like Care giver to those less fortunate and most of all loved to give what she could even in moments of weakness. I Alexandra had defects of being flaky and human not keeping promises and telling people what I could do but not coming though and the worst mistake of all sacrificing every moment of the day taking care of others and forgetting yourself and priorities. When you said my name it feels like another person because my name never belonged to me it belonged to my mother my name isn’t Alexa .My true name is Alexandra.

Eye Games don’t lose your key! Okay Mom! My mother always gives me that look of you better not. So I get my chain and wear my key around my neck. I am used to it because in every house, studio, apartment, and, garage. I always wear a heavy key. I always go home I get sad because when you enter every door you end up the same alone. So I kept busy. I went to every friend house I know like Brenda’s, invited people and went out and looked for any thing to do. My mother doesn’t come home till nine. I’m the neibrohoods kid the kid everyone looks after. Because of pity. I hate the word pity.I’m a good kid she said. I’m a good kid.

Good Charlotte and the Dead Apartment

She said I was a good kid and said if only, if only. If only that mother of yours took good take of you as she does that car maybe you’d be better off. She warned me of Roberto because he like's little girl’s. I always headed her warning and took care of my self. Charollet took care of me telling me stories of her family giving me old books and toys. She always invited me to lunch or dinner and had a daughter named Rosie. She also took care of me but not as much as Charlotte did. She told me bout all the neighbors and the area were I lived. That was the only good thing about the dead apartment or near the dead apartment it was my friend ship with her. It lasted for two yeas or so until she had to move to Florida. She couldn’t take her two cats so she made me promise to care of them but soon my life would take a big turn the biggest turn in my life.

The Devil and his Melancholy

She was my best friend and we were like two peas in a pod. She was wild I was tame. She was Crazy I lay as strait as an arrow .I we couldn’t have been a better pair of friends. She told me all her secrets I told her mine. I was like her constant babysitter I always told her to be careful don’t do this or that because of the consequence. But I always ended up loosening up. Because she was so crazy. But one day I told her why I was the way I was. I told her that god likes to play jokes and the devil felt melancholy every time god did. Sometimes I felt that melancholy. Sadness, life, hate, fear, fate, and Ironic ness all gods jokes some were funnier than others. When they happen to other people. Because it isn’t you. When its you it's not so funny. God played allot of jokes with me and not on me because I always tried to laugh with him. The only joke I thought wasn’t so funny was sending me to a catholic school. I'm not the anti-Christ I believe in god but since the day I was born not a catholic or infact any religion. Hell I don't know what I am.

Brown Bicycles

Every morning and at night men in brown bikes stop and follow my perfume. I get scared and run no wait jog. The people in fancy cars drive in the DMV and get there licenses and avoid unclean dirty brown bikes. They don't avoid me they look and pass by. But for brown bikes they drive fast. Men in brown cars are the same we have allot of brown people here but I’m not afraid of them because they have good cheap cars not bikes. I go into a different neighborhood's of a different color and feel the same way because. I've lived in so many places it makes no difference to me. My middle class family would like me not to have a brown or black boyfriend. But we all have the same friends who eat same food we do eat at the same table or at a barbeque. Eating the same hotdogs while there kids play with bubbles at the park. The funny thing is when we both saw Black and brown together every one turns around and gives a look I didn’t because I honestly could care less. Because we all bleed, speak and have feelings.

Black and Tired

To have to fight is tiring. Try fighting for 10 years. You get cut and bruised black and blue burned and then as best as you can clean every wound with as much dignity as you can and as quickly as you can because you know you have to fight again, again and again. Then you end up black and tired. You get to ask God why, why and why. God gives what you can handle every body says .They lie the truth is god gives you more sometimes just sometimes even more then people twice your age .They get freedom and new cars. I get to fight. I used pride and dignity all my strength and now I'm tired and sick. But my prize is life and air. Hope is good shield god gave me hope. My parrot house is the best house I've ever lived in because I won hope.

In Terms of Endurment

I can't vomit anymore because there is noting to vomit. I can’t eat because my stomach shank to the size of a walnut. Then comes a fever. Mija your leg is so swollen it's the size of my leg. Mom I scream as she cleans my dime sized puss filled wound. I can't take it I can't move my leg. You must have broken the fluid sack in your knee cap. We'll go to the hospital on Monday you'll be okay. I fell on a Thursday. Today is a Friday. Pain Unexplainable pain like if some one put a broken glass bottle in you thigh and kept thrusting there. Then comes Saturday more puke, fever and swollenness the only difference is my leg is a light red. Sunday High fever, puke I can’t walk any more all the fluid in my leg goes up and down the pain is excruciating it felt like two glass bottle's then the color becomes yellow like me but my leg looks egg yolk yellow with red vein lines. The next day I can't take it my dad can't take it we go to the hospital. We get there they don’t know what it is.

Russian Rullet

Stick in the I.V she's dehydrated give her the strongest antibodies we have she has a serious staff infection that combined with another infection. Give her blood test. Mom its okay don’t cry ill be fine it’s not my time to go yet. My father in a panic I wish it was me it should have been me. Then time stops as every needle is drawing blood from my veins dark red blood is in that needle as it was for the 10 or 11 more that were to come next. Then a cat scan that took a (n) half hour or so. I can't eat they wont let me. Now it’s a game of Russian Rullet to wait and see what is going on. Then they transfer me to the next hospital because they can't figure it out. It's a staff infection I know that part but what is the other bacteria they must be thinking because in the next hospital I got the same test I took in the other hospital. Then a nice man let me eat. He brought snacks I ate a little because I got hungry and ate the amount of a gastric bypass patient. Then the doctor said the same thing they said in the other hospital give her the strongest antibiotics they could unfortunately it gave me a rash so they had to give the second strongest then they sent me to sleep were high fever s came with a(n) I,V, pulse machine and allot of needles inside my veins. The next day my parents cried really bad the kind of cry were you see when some is going to die or about to die or die. No mom don’t cry it’s not my time ill be okay it’s not my time. Then they give me morphine and antibiotic's and I fall asleep. When I wake up I see a bandage on my leg and my mom then a catheter so I don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom. But I hate this tube. So the first question I ask my mom is. Mom why is there a tube in me. I don't what to be here I can go to the bathroom on my own. Then I don’t remember. Then like a dream I remember screaming in pain my mother cover my eyes and my father cries I scream more like those sherks of pain when you are born. Morphine push the button if it hurts. I hate morphine. Because I don't remember but who wants to remember there own suffering. The smell of meat comes from my leg. It’s the biggest wound I’ve ever seen .They clean it it smells sweet like metal and meat .It looked black and gray my mother told me once I was out of the hospital. Like on the health channel but except it’s on me.

All the Card Board Boxes All the windows in the ghetto neibrohoods smell of cardboards boxes because they put them on widows and inside the house to cover up holes. Then when the rain comes its smells worse like cardboard boxes and cement. Luisa writes in the rain in her house were her daddy hits her because she gets into trouble. We are like sisters she is bigger the me at the time and still is .She was in high school at the time. Her family was very Christian which is a lie or else her father wouldn’t be so jealous and her family wouldn’t hit her. One day she'll leave and run a way and be with her boy friend. I met him once he was nice. but until then she will be hit with a belt or a hand we will still listen to her cry and do nothing even though she lives in our rent room in that ghetto house and she will come out doing the same feeding her baby brother, smelling like baby , sweat and have bruises all over. I wish I stood up for her I wish I didn’t rat her out by accident it was an accident I didn’t mean to because I kept her secrets but this happened all at once so her mom asked me did she flip us off it was 2 seconds right after she did it and I stood silent and nodded because I don’t know why. I’m sorry Louisa if your out there some were.

All the Pink Blankys They got pregnant too soon they say .But I know that. Now they have to get married because they are both pregnant. Poor them I guess there husbands feel the same. One being a senior while the other being 21 years of age too young even to make a 2,000 dollar pay check. What will become of my nieces and there futures it’s like a never ending cycle it happened to there mothers now it happens to them. I love them anyway I love there babies and bottles and the baby showers that come with the baby but. Seeing my life and how it is now I don’t want children. //**__Being a mother and wife are two very different things it’s all a game of chance really. Now they play the game while I wait and see what will happen. I hope they have the best and eventually be the best. Children having children that is what I see.__**//**// //****// The Drops of Jupiter //****//In my house there is no cement, no litter, just earth and green and sweet fruit trees. There are only dirt roads and clear skys and there are only farms and animals around here. I have a home here so warm and nice, the walls are a a pretty pure white and space. The ceiling is wooden with windows on the top to see the sky at night so I could to see the same sky I saw 10 years ago. With the moon and the drops of jupiter in my room and smell that sweet air away from the smog away form the yells and crys. I'll come back soon for you to get you too so you can smell the the sweet air and cry because you are happy. This house has no street or cement just a dirt road. Were the house is white with green green grass, fruit trees and a tire swing were every one is welcome to stay and sleep.Then you'll see me there in jean's and a blouse inviting you for lunch in that pretty white house .//**